I looked up “introversion” on Wiki, one of my constant sources of information, and determined that, whereas I have some introvert qualities, I also have some extroversion in me.  It sounds like I’m psycho-analyzing myself, and I am, but it’s for a purpose.  The purpose is to understand what is going on as I travel the world solo.

There are definite advantages of traveling solo.  You move at your own speed.  You do what you want to do, when you want to do it.  It’s easier to clear customs and you can take more less-traveled routes (this takes into consideration if you’re traveling with a woman).  But socially, there are disadvantages.   It’s harder to have someone take your picture.  And you tend to take more pictures of things and less of people next to things.  Some people look at you funny and wonder why you are alone.  You also feel funny being alone and not be able to share your thoughts about the things you’re seeing with anyone.  That’s probably the biggest disappointment.  

Being an introvert traveling alone can be difficult.  According to the definition, these are the things I have that would fit the definition of introversion:

– Gain energy when alone, lose energy when with others.

– Have little interest, but any interest they show can be high.

– Consider only deep relationships with others as “true friendship” (I take this to mean that introverts don’t develop superficial friendships)

– Need silence to concentrate, do not like when they are interrupted.

– Are better than extroverts in coping with tasks requiring attention.

– Find it easier to read than with conversation with others.

– Work at the same level regardless of whether they are praised or not.

– Have difficulty remembering names and faces.

– Take pleasure in solo activities.

– Tend to be more reserved and less outspoken in large groups.

– Are more analytical before speaking.

– Tend to acknowledge more readily their psychological needs and problems.

– Are the mostly misunderstood for being arrogant, social outcast, or even freaks; they may be shy or reserved but not antisocial.

There are others which I don’t fit, so let’s say for the sake of argument that I am not 100% introverted.  Still, I feel that I’m in an introverted role when traveling alone.  I must be, otherwise I won’t cope well with the lack of a partner.  It’s not such a bad thing; I was born without a partner and likely die without one.  It’s not that I wish it, it’s just that it’s unlikely that my eventual partner and I will succumb to death at exactly the same time.  I guess it will be better if I go first, but then I’ll feel really bad leaving her alone.  If she goes first, I’ll be lonely and likely die within a short time.  Again, I’m not wishing this, it’s just what researchers say happens.  

When I read this some time in the future, I’ll think that I’m crazy for putting these thoughts down on paper.  I’m sure I’ll be more an extrovert at some point and look back at this seemingly dark period in my life.  But it’s the dark periods in your life that make you appreciate the light ones.  Who knows where I’ll be and who I’ll be with.  It’s elemental and (unstoppable) that I will be somewhere else, but not with someone else.  Just as it is impossible to change who I’ll be.